Category: Humor

Jul 10

How I learned New Words

As some may recall, and if you do not I am reminding you, that prior to early December, 2013 I was sailing smoothly through life with no major health incidents that would make me think that I was not going to live forever. In early December, 2013 I experienced a mild heart attack that made …

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Permanent link to this article: http://townehouse.net/how-i-learned-new-words/

Mar 07

Cabin Fever

So this is what cabin fever feels like. In the past I have often heard people speak of cabin fever but I never quite understood the concept. After all, I was never restricted to my “cabin” I always had the ability to come and go as I pleased, or even as I did not please. …

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Permanent link to this article: http://townehouse.net/cabin-fever/

Jan 03

My Dependency (Addiction)

As I sit here this morning I have made a decision to publicly announce my addiction. I have come to the realization that I am addicted to technology. Now for those of you who know me or have known me, this probably comes as no surprise. I have always known I have had an enjoyment …

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Permanent link to this article: http://townehouse.net/my-dependency-addiction/

Dec 19

Christmas Elves Threaten National Security

In the past, the Townehouse phoenix has provided expose´ articles regarding common Christmas traditions that most take for granted. In the past the real story behind Rudolph and Frosty were brought to you first by the Phoenix. In keeping with the tradition of past Christmases, the Townehouse Phoenix, as a public service, will provide the real story behind those Christmas Elves. This expose´ is brutal and honest and not suitable for younger audiences. Those with young children in the room should click away now.

Permanent link to this article: http://townehouse.net/christmas-elves-threaten-national-security/

Dec 12

Thoughts On Grass and Leaves

I have never been known as one who tried toachieve the perfect yard. Far be it from me to deny anything that wishes to grow in my yard the opportunity to do so. I have a very liberal philosophy with regards to yard greenage (is that a word?). In short, I believe if it is green …

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Permanent link to this article: http://townehouse.net/thoughts-on-grass-and-leaves/

Feb 02

State of Retirement (SOR)

Inflated Ego

Since last I wrote, very little has occurred that gives me fodder to write about. Neither the police chief, nor any former police chief, has done or said anything newsworthy that I am aware of. Although I have a least one City Council meeting to catch up on, I have heard very little from this …

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Permanent link to this article: http://townehouse.net/state-of-retirement-sor/

Jan 01

Predictions For 2014

2014

Happy New Year! If you were partying last night you probably have already heard that expression more than you care to. If you were partying and imbibing to excess, I promised to keep my blog article quiet for your benefit. Have you ever noticed how often as we come to a year’s end that one …

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Permanent link to this article: http://townehouse.net/predictions-for-2014/

Dec 21

Rudolph’s Red Nose – The Real Story

Rudolph the Narc

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. They were the original eight, also known as “The Eight Tiny”. So where did Rudolph come from, and why was he promoted, without exam, to the head of the pack? Townehouse Phoenix was able to acquire the services of …

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Permanent link to this article: http://townehouse.net/rudolphs-red-nose-the-real-story/

Aug 17

Bias Scandal Rocks City Hall

Council Chambers

Have you ever considered how important alphabetical alignment is to our daily lives? Since we have been small children we have been lined up alphabetically. We search a list most efficiently when items are listed alphabetically. We teach our children from a very early age how to recite the alphabet. In all the cases, all …

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Permanent link to this article: http://townehouse.net/bias-scandal-rocks-city-hall/

Mar 30

Missing Person Investigation!

Private Eye

It was a cool evening in late March. There was nothing significant that would set this day apart from any other day. I sat in my run down office sipping a bourbon, feet up on my desk. The sign on my door read “JOSEPH COLLINS, PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS”. Yeah, that is me, Joe Collins. I make …

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Permanent link to this article: http://townehouse.net/missing-person-investigation/