{"id":121,"date":"2011-01-22T12:25:37","date_gmt":"2011-01-22T16:25:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.townehouse.net\/phoenix\/?p=121"},"modified":"2015-08-24T13:50:38","modified_gmt":"2015-08-24T17:50:38","slug":"the-magical-mysterious-land-of-carpet-part-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=121","title":{"rendered":"The Magical Mysterious Land of Carpet (Part Two)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"download\"<\/a>Once upon a time, in the Land of Carpet there was the court clown. He was known as T<\/strong>he D<\/strong>oofus S<\/strong>tooge. Now, Stooge\u2019s primary function was not the clown, but one of the guards of the land. He carried a shield and various weapons. His job was to protect the citizens of the Land, but mostly he was found indoors, amusing and placating T<\/strong>he H<\/strong>igh S<\/strong>overeign.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

One morning Stooge woke up and realized he was old, slow and fat. Additionally, he realized he had lost his nerve and was very afraid to venture forth into the land and protect those he was sworn to protect. Just the thought of it made him break out in a cold nervous sweat. So he went to The High Sovereign and said \u201chmmgrpj, hrmphhmp, hpmrrrg\u201d. The High Sovereign said \u201cget your head out of my arse, I cannot understand a word you said\u201d. After much struggling, straining, grunting,and groaning, The Doofus Stooge was able to extricate his head. He explained to The High Sovereign that he still wanted to wear the uniform of the Guard, but did not want to do what the guards were hired to do. The Sovereign then asked, \u201cWhat do you wish to do\u201d.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Stooge explained he wanted to join the elite group of Wizards who lived high on the hill. He too wanted to be a Wizard. Sovereign stated \u201cbut you are not qualified to be a Wizard\u201d. Stooge responded \u201cam too\u201d. And with that explanation of his qualifications, The High Sovereign understood and sent him to the hill. Stooge failed to realize that all the real Wizards would see him for the phony that he was and would reject allowing him into the group. Stooge complained to The High Sovereign that nobody likes him and they call him names and make fun of him. The High Sovereign then issued an edict \u201cGive Him What He wants\u201d. Sovereign told The Doofus Stooge to report anyone who did not give him the respect he did not deserve and he would banish them to the Extraterrestrial Station.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And so it continues to this day. The High Sovereign continues to run back and forth between the North and South Poles. The Doofus Stooge remains afraid and continues to tell everyone how smart he is. And the real Wizards just sit and wait, except for those who have been banished.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Once upon a time, in the Land of Carpet there was the court clown. He was known as The Doofus Stooge. Now, Stooge\u2019s primary function was not the clown, but one of the guards of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12911,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_daextrevo_audio_file_creation_date":"","_daextrevo_text_to_speech":"","_daextrevo_document_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rants"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/townehouse.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/THFI.png?fit=214%2C200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":123,"url":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=123","url_meta":{"origin":121,"position":0},"title":"The Magical Mysterious Land of Carpet (Part One)","author":"Tom Lind","date":"December 31, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Once upon a time, just west of Hamlet, there was a small hamlet know as the Land of Carpet. The Land of Carpet was a quiet, friendly place to live where everyone got a long and worked together for a peaceful, happy community. All was good until one day, about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Rants"","block_context":{"text":"Rants","link":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?cat=23"},"img":{"alt_text":"download","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/townehouse.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/download2-150x150.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11595,"url":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=11595","url_meta":{"origin":121,"position":1},"title":"The Magical, Mysterious Land of Carpet: Epilogue","author":"Tom Lind","date":"April 17, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"The reign of terror has ended. All over the kingdom people are coming out of their homes, blinking in the bright light, slowly realizing that the darkness that has overshadowed the land for so long is now dissipation g. The sun is shining,, the grass is green, people everywhere are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Miscellaneous"","block_context":{"text":"Miscellaneous","link":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?cat=19"},"img":{"alt_text":"Magical Mysterious Land of Carpet","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/townehouse.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/carpetland-150x150.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":970,"url":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=970","url_meta":{"origin":121,"position":2},"title":"The Magical, Mysterious, Land of Carpet (Revisited)","author":"Tom Lind","date":"August 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I have been asked by a few for an update on the Magical Mysterious Land of Carpet (pronounced carpay). Not wishing to disappoint, here is what has happened since last we visited. 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The back story is this: In 1993 the Bureau of Land Management, a federal government agency, declared public grazing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Commentary"","block_context":{"text":"Commentary","link":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?cat=13"},"img":{"alt_text":"ClarkCountyLogo","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/townehouse.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/ClarkCountyLogo-150x150.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":875,"url":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=875","url_meta":{"origin":121,"position":4},"title":"Big Government Concerns","author":"Tom Lind","date":"April 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Big Government is invading your privacy, is seizing your lands and taking your money. Big Government, whether it be Federal, State, or Local, are constantly and consistently infringing upon the rights of Citizens and for the most part, the citizens are powerless to do anything about it. What concerns me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Commentary"","block_context":{"text":"Commentary","link":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?cat=13"},"img":{"alt_text":"295_constitution","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/townehouse.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/295_constitution-150x150.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12078,"url":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=12078","url_meta":{"origin":121,"position":5},"title":"The Land of the Free?","author":"Tom Lind","date":"July 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I cannot help but wonder what the results would be if one conducted a man on the street interview and asked the question \u201cWhy is July 4th a holiday?\u201d. How many would respond that it is Independence Day? 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