{"id":799,"date":"2013-12-21T10:56:45","date_gmt":"2013-12-21T15:56:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.townehouse.net\/phoenix\/?p=799"},"modified":"2013-12-21T10:56:45","modified_gmt":"2013-12-21T15:56:45","slug":"rudolphs-red-nose-the-real-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=799","title":{"rendered":"Rudolph’s Red Nose – The Real Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Rudolph<\/a>You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. They were the original eight, also known as \u201cThe Eight Tiny\u201d. So where did Rudolph come from, and why was he promoted, without exam, to the head of the pack? Townehouse Phoenix was able to acquire the services of an elf on the inside. Through the growing network of \u201cElves on Shelves\u201d the ability to communicate back and forth freely has allowed us to bring the story to you. Remember folks, you heard it first here. Here is what we know of the circumstances surrounding the favoritism provided to the unknown reindeer who we now know as \u201cRudolph\u201d.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Originally, \u201cThe Eight Tiny\u201d did as was expected of them. This went on for years and years, but the opportunity for advancement, the opportunity to improve one\u2019s station in life was not presented. If a reindeer was in the back of the pack, they stayed in the back of the pack. There was no opportunity to advance forward, and there was no rotation of duties. The only way to move from the back to the front would be if a reindeer died, and that never seemed to happen. Eventually dissension broke out. Camps were established of like-minded individuals. The front for considered themselves superior to the back four. Donner was heard to complain about being named after a cannibalistic group Santa had observed when flying through the Sierra Nevada Mountain Range. Prancer complained of his nickname. \u201cLissen, just because I have a lisp, it is not right to call me Prancer. I am not that way. I am not anyway since Santa has us all fixed\u201d. Santa, up hearing of the dissension in the barn decided to take action. He enlisted the help of a little known reindeer, who we now know as Rudolph.<\/p>\n

It is well-known that Rudolph had a shiny nose. What is not known is that this nose was not natural; it was surgically implanted by the surgeon elves. It not only glowed so bright, it was also a listening device. Rudolph was introduced into the barn, but kept to himself. He was stand offish and not the type to join in any reindeer games. Of course, by this time the reindeer games had become merely an excuse to fight between the front four and the back four. Rudolf would move around surreptitiously, eavesdropping on conversations and relaying every word back to Santa through the listening device in his nose. Rudolph was not accepted by the rest, but this is the way he wanted it to be. He wanted to be invisible, he wanted to be a fly on the wall, for this way he was most effective. Santa collected all the intelligence sent to him by Rudolph, and then he developed a plan.<\/p>\n

One foggy Christmas Eve Santa made an announcement. There was going to be a shakeup in the reindeer ranks. Rudolph the unknown was promoted to the leader of the pack. He would lead the others. This was unheard of. How could this happen? Rudolph who was never on the team, Rudolph who had never left the North Pole, was now the lead reindeer? All the other reindeer shouted and called him names, but to no avail. Rudolph was the HRWIC (Head Reindeer what\u2019s in charge). That is how Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer came to lead Santa\u2019s Sleigh and how it is to this very day. Yes folks, it is true. Rudolph is Santa\u2019s Narc.<\/p>\n

That is the story as I heard it. I ca not verify beyond this as my inside elf was discovered by Santa and he has been assigned duties cleaning up the reindeer poop in the barn. His access to the Elves on Shelves has been totally cut off. We are attempting to send in an extraction team as soon as possible.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Those are my lies<\/del> thought, what are yours?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. They were the original eight, also known as \u201cThe Eight Tiny\u201d. So where did Rudolph come from, and why […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12911,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_daextrevo_audio_file_creation_date":"","_daextrevo_text_to_speech":"","_daextrevo_document_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-799","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/townehouse.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/THFI.png?fit=214%2C200&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1216,"url":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=1216","url_meta":{"origin":799,"position":0},"title":"Christmas Elves Threaten National Security","author":"Tom Lind","date":"December 16, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"In the past, the Townehouse phoenix has provided expose\u00b4 articles regarding common Christmas traditions that most take for granted. In the past the real story behind Rudolph and Frosty were brought to you first by the Phoenix. In keeping with the tradition of past Christmases, the Townehouse Phoenix, as a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"evilelf","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/townehouse.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/evilelf-150x150.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11598,"url":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=11598","url_meta":{"origin":799,"position":1},"title":"Wanted For Questioning – Frosty the Snowman","author":"Tom Lind","date":"December 10, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Frosty the Snowman, a folk hero to many. But what messages are we sending to our children. In a closer examination of the story of Frosty, several things come to light. Things that concern me and things that should concern you as well. Was Frosty really someone we want our\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Miscellaneous"","block_context":{"text":"Miscellaneous","link":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?cat=19"},"img":{"alt_text":"6682fed691bf41633b4d69bd33b0d8bc9868ded8_full","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/townehouse.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/6682fed691bf41633b4d69bd33b0d8bc9868ded8_full-150x150.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1148,"url":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=1148","url_meta":{"origin":799,"position":2},"title":"The Farm","author":"Tom Lind","date":"October 31, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I write this blog for various reasons. Sometimes I like to rant, sometimes I like to reminisce. Today is one of those reminiscing days. You may not be interested in my childhood memories, you may have already clicked away, or you may be rolling your eyes and thinking \u201cthis guy\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Nostalgia"","block_context":{"text":"Nostalgia","link":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"il_340x270.543195795_99hd","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/townehouse.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/il_340x270.543195795_99hd-150x150.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14061,"url":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=14061","url_meta":{"origin":799,"position":3},"title":"On Cats","author":"Tom Lind","date":"December 11, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"As many of you know who have read my dog eulogies, I am , and have been most of my life, a dog person.\u00a0 I have told you the story of Libbi and Darby and Pepper, now all gone from us.\u00a0 At this point I am not sure if there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Dogs and Cats"","block_context":{"text":"Dogs and Cats","link":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?cat=261"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/townehouse.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/IMG_0436-150x150.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":12330,"url":"https:\/\/townehouse.net\/?p=12330","url_meta":{"origin":799,"position":4},"title":"Bananas and Me","author":"Tom Lind","date":"October 16, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Perhaps you are wondering what I and bananas have in common. 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