Phoenix Exercise Plan

As I have gotten older I have also gotten somewhat portly. I wonder if anybody remembers me as that skinny guy that I managed to be for about 40 years? Each time I research how to get back to a skinny guy I come across the same two words, diet and exercise. Every miracle diet always throws in those two hated words “and exercise’. I hate exercising. There is nothing about it that I find appealing. I have never experienced the euphoria that I have heard about. All I have ever experienced is the sensation of incredible boredom and pain. Lots and lots of pain. So I have taken it upon my self to develop an exercise regimen that is not so stringent but has the necessary elements, repetition and cardio. I am going to share this with you today, free of charge.

First I will share some repetitive motion exercises, or as we exercise buffs call them, reps.

• Repetitively getting up from the recliner to either go to the bathroom or the refrigerator. This exercise works out your legs, and has the added benefit of working upper body muscles twice, once when wrestling the handle on the side of the recliner and once when opening and reaching into the refrigerator. Additionally, many trips to the refrigerator will generate more trips to the bathroom, Opening and closing the bathroom door, raising and lowering the toilet seat) doubling your workout benefits.  (Update:  Since this article was originally published our furniture has been replaced.  I no longer have a manual recliner.  I now have an electric, push button recliner.  I do not get as much exercise in my right arm, but my index finger has slimmed down from pushing the button.)
• As you sit in the recliner, I recommend that approximately every 5 minutes you reverse how your legs are crossed at the ankle. In three hours of TV watching this will result in 30 reps. Quite the workout!
• Drinking is good exercise. If you consider how many times you raise the glass or bottle to your lips it is a truly amazing number of repetitions. Be sure to switch hands often so you get the benefit to both the left and right side of your body.

Cardio workouts, at first glance, were more difficult to attain but as I conducted my research I realized we are already working the cardiopulmonary systems. I read that being over-weight causes your heart to work harder. I am getting a mixed message here. First I am told that working your heart is healthy and then I am told it is bad to make your heart work harder. You can’t have it both ways. I will opt for overweight as it has the added advantage of making your heart work harder all the time, not just during exercise. I have also discovered that walking is great for heart conditioning. Walking? I do that all the time. Think about it. If you are not sitting down or lying down, you are probably walking. Now, if you are just standing around there is no benefit, but usually standing around is just a way to posture our bodies while we are trying to find a place to sit down or lie down. Seems like a no brainer to me.

One other tip. I am constantly being told it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Keep on frowning and work out those extra muscles.

This is a retread of an earlier article published here.  I am resurrecting this article because I can think of nothing interesting to write about this week.  Hopefully some who read this will either have forgotten that I have previously published  this, or will not have read it the first time around.  I apologize if this seems to make me appear lazy.  But it is the first day of spring.  I think I have spring ever.

There you have it, the Phoenix Exercise Plan. Move over Atkins and Stillman. I hope it works as expected for all who try it. And if it does not, I will see you on the other side.

Those are my thoughts, what are yours?

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