Wives and Wooly Worms

I am not much for yard work. I have never been much for yard work. I find no joy in mowing the grass, trimming the hedges, or even picking up sticks. About the only thing I like with regards to yard work is burning refuse. I find this enjoyable because it allows me to stand around and tend the fire, and if I am standing around and tending the fire then I cannot be mowing the grass or trimming the hedges or picking up sticks. I bring this to your attention so as to demonstrate how much I detest the winter we are experiencing. I hate this winter so much that I find myself desiring to go out and do some yard work. I am confident that once the weather warms (if it ever does) my inclinations will change. But for now I long for warmer weather, balmy breezes and the feel of sunshine on my face.

If you are in the same frame of mind as I am, then I am sure you feel the need to blame someone or something for the horrendous climate. I blame both the wooly worms and my wife. Both species have predicted a bad winter, and both species have proven to be right. In case you are wondering, wooly worms are large caterpillar type insects. They typically have black and brown stripes on their wooly bodies. If the black and brown stripes are about equal in width, we can anticipate a somewhat mild winter. If the stripes of black are much wider than the brown then a harsh winter is predicted. This past fall the wooly worms were almost completely black. Additionally, my wife kept saying that after the outstanding summer we experience we were about to have a harsh winter. And of course, she didn’t just say this once; she said it over and over again. Now, I am not saying my wife and the wooly worms caused this winter, but then again, I am not saying they did not. Those are the facts, you decide.

Now all that is left to do is to wait it out. Keep watching for the various signs of pending spring. I am looking forward to spring training. I am looking forward to seeing my first robin. I am looking forward to the swim suit edition of Sports Illustrated. All these things have, in the past, indicated that warmer weather was not far behind. In the meantime, I will just try to find ways to get past the rest of this. Please do not suggest that I move to Florida. That is not the answer. If I did that I would then have to blog about how hot it is and how much I miss snow. In the meantime, I think I will conduct an examination of my wife’s body. I think I saw the beginnings of black and brown bands of fur developing.

Those are my thoughts, what are yours

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