Thoughts On Grass and Leaves

I have never been known as one who tried toachieve the perfect yard. Far be it from me to deny anything that wishes to grow in my yard the opportunity to do so. I have a very liberal philosophy with regards to yard greenage (is that a word?). In short, I believe if it is green it is grass. In my opinion, grass is a very generic term that refers to anything green that grows in the yard to help hide the spots where traditional grass refuses to grow, in my case that includes most of my yard. There also seems to be this socially accepted standard with regards to the length of grass, and grasswannabees, that pass as my lawn. In my opinion, the higher the better, but the law, and my neighbors are not on my side with regards to that point of view. So I try to cut my grass at least once or twice every summer. Just trying to be a good neighbor.

Also of concern to the neighbors, but not necessarily to me or to the law is the issue of leaves that have fallen to the ground. I personally like the look of leaves on the ground. For one thing, they help to cover the bare spots that the grass and its allies failed to cover. Most people are very fickle when it comes to leaves. They love them in the spring as it indicates that old tree will live to see another summer, and they love them in the summer for the shade they provide. They even love them for a while in the autumn as they change colors and signal us they will soon fall to the ground and upset the neighbors. I like them on the ground. I like walking through them hearing the crunch and watching them flutter away when I shuffle through them on the way to the mailbox. I even enjoy a certain thrill and shot of adrenalin when I almost slip and fall on the wet leaves. Adrenalin rushes are few and far between at my age so I take all I can get. The advantages of having leaves on the ground notwithstanding, there is this social norm of removing the leaves that must be annually addressed.

The process of collecting the leaves and encapsulating them in green plastic bags is the worse. In our yard we have about six large trees and four of them are Pin Oaks. Pin Oaks tenaciously hold onto their leaves far into fall and even into winter. They only release more leaves after the trees have noticed ones effort to clear the yard of those leaves that had the common courtesy to drop in a timely fashion. We have these things on the edges of our roof which I assume are leaf magnets. Although they do quickly fill up with leaves, their capacity is not nearly enough to collect all of the leaves that choose to fall. Of course, once full, they tend to provide a spectacular water fall effect whenever it rains. I don’t understand why the makers of the leaf magnets did not anticipate and calculate the size of the devices to attract all the leaves. But what do I know. Unfortunately the designers oversight still leaves (no pun intended) me with the dilemma of removing the remaining leaves from my yard.

I have noticed that some people seem to enjoy burning leaves, local ordinances be damned. The smell of burning leaves is a pleasure to many, but to me it is just another way of spreading the noxious content of trees and leaves that merely serve to clog up my sinus cavities. However, I am open to the idea of donating all my leaves to any leaf pyromaniac who wishes to come and get them. I will even provide the rakes.
Those are my thoughts, what are yours?

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