Have you ever considered how important alphabetical alignment is to our daily lives? Since we have been small children we have been lined up alphabetically. We search a list most efficiently when items are listed alphabetically. We teach our children from a very early age how to recite the alphabet. In all the cases, all the letters of the alphabet are important, A through Z. We treat all letters of the alphabet the same, be it a vowel or a consonant. We even accept trans-letters such as the letter Y, which sometimes acts as a vowel, and sometimes as a consonant. So, the question is, why does the City of Cincinnati Council not represent the people they serve?
The council is made up of nine individuals who are supposed to represent all residents of the City of Cincinnati. But this is far from the truth. The alphabetical makeup of city residents consists of people whose names start with all letters of the alphabet. Yet only 5 of 26 letters are represented on council, with the total heavily weighted toward the letter S. Second to S is Q. S and Q represent 55% of council, and should they form a coalition they will have a clear majority on council, The S&Q coalition would control it all. Additionally, the first 16 letters of the alphabet are not represented on council. All council members represent only five of the last 10 letters of the alphabet. Does this sound like fair, equal, and impartial representation to you? If you fall into the larger segment of society represented by the first 16 letters, who on council is going to care? Is it any wonder that the pet project of “Trolley” is one of the last ten letters? Coincidence? I don’t think so. Don’t you find it interesting that Trolley, Tracks, Taxes, and Trouble all start with the letter T?
Citizens of Cincinnati, hear me out. Four year terms are upon us. If we do not act this election to have the first 16 letters represented, we will be stuck with the “back-end of the alphabet” gang for the next four years. I propose the following charter amendments. The city should be broken down in nine alphabetical wards, each ward representing only three letters of the alphabet, and one ward representing the final two. Each council member must represent one of the nine wards, and that council member must have a last name starting with one of the letters of that ward. This method will ensure that all segments of the alphabet have equal opportunity for representation on council. No letter will go unnoticed. I am also proposing term limits on letters. Then and only then can we have fair and equal letter representation on council. Then we can be assured that no matter what your race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or letter of the alphabet you belong to, someone is there for you. Legitimize all letters of the alphabet!! Stand up for what is right. Write letters, put signs in your front yard, and vote to change the bias.
Those are my thoughts, what are yours?
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Gobble-de-goop. Com’on Tom. you can do better than this for crying out loud. I realize it must be tough to try and get an interesting topic every week, but this was just goofiness, which I suppose you meant it to be.
I would like to think of it as political satire, but perhaps I missed the mark.
Thanks for the feedback.
I thought this was political satire and thought is was very clever.
Thank you. I much prefer “clever” over “Gobble-de-goop”.
Clearly, the majority of people would be represented by M, S, W, B, H, C, R, G, and a J. Quite frankly, I’m getting tired of this “minority representation” by E, O, V, Y, Z, I, Q, U, and X. They barely make up 5% of the population, for Pete’s sake!
Hmmmm….doesn’t Tom start with T also? Absolutely satire. I think in this case Scott missed the mark! The scary thing is that this system of representation might work just as well as any other!:)