State of Retirement (SOR)

Inflated EgoSince last I wrote, very little has occurred that gives me fodder to write about. Neither the police chief, nor any former police chief, has done or said anything newsworthy that I am aware of. Although I have a least one City Council meeting to catch up on, I have heard very little from this fine group of public-spirited citizens, so again, nothing to report. I think I have no choice but to report on the state of my retirement, and how this valiant effort is proceeding. Fortunately, this is not a letter home because as the expression goes, it is nothing to write home about. In all fairness to the concept of retirement, and the retirement enthusiasts, it is only been two weeks, so the jury is still out. But, after two weeks, this is what I know.

I have, in only two weeks, developed a good starter skill set as a house husband. I find I can generally tidy up the house in a few hours each day. I feel that the benefits of retirement should extend to my wife, so it is only fair if I have less to do, then so shall she. I must admit, housework is not all that hard. I used to tease her about time spent watching soap operas and eating bonbons. There may have been more to that than I thought. A second big time filler is spending time with my two-year old granddaughter (she calls me Pa). It has been great fun bonding with her and teaching her things that her mother will hold against me for a long time to come. However, I must admit, in only two weeks I have become somewhat of an expert on the Wiggles, Yo Gabba Gabba, Bubble Guppies, and Jo-Jo the Clown. Go ahead, just ask me something.

My thoughts frequently turn to “the office” and how things are proceeding there. I always assumed when I left that my presence would be sorely missed and the day-to-day business would fall into a complete and utter state of disarray. Not so! I have received a few phone calls from former colleagues with procedural questions, but nowhere near the volume I had expected. How is this possible? Was I not indispensable? What you have just heard is the whiny sound of an inflated ego deflating. In truth, I am glad they are functioning well without me.

That is the state of my retirement, so far. I am still waiting for my sisters to show up at my door. The same sisters who said they would be happy to come around and give my wife a break. But then again, it has only been two weeks. I am sure they are busily clearing their schedules so as to accommodate me. Until then I will just continue to sit on my doorstep waiting and watching the driveway. Until next time I write I can only hope the police chief says or does something remarkable or unremarkable (the latter being most likely), I can only hope City Council returns to being inane, or maybe I have an inspired memory that will allow me to write a fun nostalgia piece. I am always looking for blog ideas, you have any?


Those are my thoughts, what are yours?

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DISCLAIMER: For those who were born without a sense of humor, this article was intended to be light-hearted and tongue-in-cheek.


Tom Lind

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  1. TimFebruary 2, 2014

    Maybe you should start building models again.

  2. judy aka judi aka judithFebruary 2, 2014

    I think you will enjoy your retirement more when the weather is nicer! Housework may not be hard but it is numbingly boring to me so I’m sure Vicki appreciates your undertaking some of this! Are you listening to any audio books? As someone longing for retirement it will be interesting to see how you progress through this phase….For me it is 3.5 years and counting!

  3. KarenFebruary 2, 2014

    Someone told me that it takes approx 3 years to feel comfortable after retirement. You and I had very long tenures in our jobs so it might take longer. At first I thought about all the deadlines during the year that were strenuous and then think, I’m no longer responsible for them with a sigh of relief. I too found I was not Indispensable. How could that be? I had lunch with a friend of mine from the Academy and as he spoke, I thought I don’t care anymore. I still don’t feel totally relaxed and it has been 4 years now.

    You have no excuse not to let me buy you a birthday lunch this year. Let me know what day in your birthday week that I can pick you up and we will have lunch together, any day but Tuesday. It will be nice to reconnect with my brother who has the same early memories as I do.

  4. JenFebruary 3, 2014

    Perhaps you can start pondering the really tough questions such as, Why do the Bubble Guppies have swimming pools?” and how is it that they are blocked from going across a bridge? Can’t they just swim around it?

    That’s all I got.


Feel free to comment, why should I have the last word.

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